Being yourself (Lord of the Rings inspired)

How to be yourself? By not trying to be yourself for starters. We are ourselves already. We can’t do anything about it other than distract or confuse ourselves from who we really are, which happens by thought. It is what the voice in our head says things like ‘I am not good enough’ or ‘I could be better’ creating a conflict between who we are, reality, and the idea we have of ourselves. This idea is a mental construct consisting of a bunch of thoughts that have you not be at peace with what is. You begin to move out of yourself acting more and more like that idea. 

It is like Gollum in Lord of the Rings. His good nature as a hobbit gets polluted by the one ring, which symbolises a series of thoughts. He identifies with them, which Frodo also battles in the films, and a distorted sense of self forms that they begin to believe in and live by. 

The more we identify with thoughts about ourselves, the more we will also act in line with them, and see them confirmed in every situation. In popular culture, this mechanism, if you want to call it that, is often used for manifestation. ‘I am going to become successful.’ is a common mantra. However, we are not really evolving into this person but are creating a belief, a role, for ourselves to live in. This ultimately come crushing down on us when we can no longer hold up the role. In intimate relationships, for example, our self is revealed sooner or later, which will be painful to you who has held up the role for so long and your partner who is shocked to be in a relationship with a different person than they had thought. That is why many so-called ‘successful people’, who have used that mantra early in their lives, avoid real intimacy for as long as they can, if not forever in some cases.

Take another example of the belief ‘I am stupid’. First, the thought arises in particular instances, like when we don’t know the answer to a question in school. The thought then appears to be confirmed in all kinds of other situations, until we start to believe the thought. We have made ourselves stupid with the idea that we are, which is what is really stupid.

It is what the ring has done to its bearers; draw them into negative beliefs about themselves and the world. And as we know, the stronger a belief, the harder it is to give it up, which is why Frodo ends up not even wanting to destroy it in the Mount Doom.

We do not want to throw away our beliefs, even if they destroy us, is that not right?

What to do to stop beliefs (a series of recurring thoughts) take you over, is simply to be aware of them. The mind wants to create all kinds of complex ways, but we can stop a thought in its tracks just by shining the light of your awareness on it. If seen directly, the nature of the thought is revealed and you are left free of its effects.

It is what Galadriel symbolises to Frodo, his awareness. She/it shows him the horrors that lie in identifying with beliefs (the ring) inside the water. Even the phial she hands over to him shines the light of awareness protecting him from darkness (thoughts). 

What is left, when the voice in our head (Sauron) is revealed as a series of false thoughts about ourselves, is reality and that is who you are.