A Break in the Chain
Something has been set free. This is the beginning of a breakthrough.
There are these special moments when I surprise myself with my own behavior. Something that I’ve previously been unable to say or do comes out. It’s a break in the chain that can be both a breakdown and a breakthrough. A breakdown when a facade that I had kept up suddenly crumbles. What has been suppressed comes out in the open, often unwillingly and with force. It’s often painful, but something has been set free. This is the beginning of a breakthrough.
When I manage not to cover it up, but to care for the wound and work with it, new pathways may be created. I can unlock and transform parts of myself that have been hidden away, and begin to behave in ways that have previously been unthinkable. These moments come as a great surprise. I cannot recognise myself. I may still return to how it was before, but I’ve felt what’s true. Something fundamental has changed. Living in the past now would cost me more energy than transforming and changing behaviour.
On my journey, I came across many such moments, when suppressed stories and emotions come out in the open (a breakdown), or when I’m able to be kind where I had been dismissive before (a breakthrough). It always surprises me, but I’m learning to marvel at the possibility of working with this newfound recognition and integrating it as part of how I behave in this world. It appears to me now as a sea of opportunity – one that I plunge in full body!
What that means in practice, in my experience, is to feel the depth of whatever emotions are appearing, positive and negative, and feel them move through the body. To become familiar with the unfamiliar.
It’s like visiting a new country. Everything feels overwhelming and intimidating on arrival. But slowly and gradually, if I make the effort, I may get to feel the essence of the place and meet its different colours. The moment of arrival is inevitably sudden, but the process of integrating takes time and intention. There is no way around this. But no matter how challenging the process, I can learn to open my heart, ask questions, and, with respect, become fascinated with discovering new land.
In this way, foes become friends, friends become family, and family becomes me.
You can read the text back, not relating it to you personally, but to the moment we’re in socially. It works the same way.
🙏
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