How do we relate?

We need to ask this question together, in relationship with each other, not from what we already know about it but actually in our lives. I now relate to you by communication, verbally and in-between the lines. We could also relate physically, through looks, smell, touch, and so on. That is all simple. But since we are here to go further into this question, we must ask what we mean by ‘relationship’. Not by some definition but right now, between ourselves. Do you relate to the writer? Are we understanding each other? To understand, one needs to see another in oneself, is that not right?

Their whole content of experience, in other words, their consciousness, with its thoughts, emotions, and all the rest of it, is recognised as also your own content, no matter how strange or wonderful you might find it. Our contents are the same, only the manifestation of it varies. In that understanding of each other, there is no distinction, no duality, anymore. Both are one, which is really to relate, is it not? 
To feel another, not as a separate entity, not physically, emotionally, or by force of thought, but actually within yourself, is to relate.

If you can go with this, you must want to know how to do it practically, right? We read for our own benefit. What can I get from this for my life? I’m not interested in reading just a few pretty words for the sake of it. But feeling the other, as we put it for relationship, is no doing. 
So we better ask what NOT to do. One cannot do, or think, oneself into relationship. “Please, I want her to like me” is meant to fail miserably, either practically or over many months or years of quiet suffering. Any force of will is contrary to relationship, is it not? It must come about naturally, flourishing like a flower, if cared for, undisturbed by thought and will.  A flower cannot be grown but only watched growing, with the tender care of the watcher. 

Thought destroys relationship. It weights the pleasure one has given and received in return. The whole thing becomes a transaction, comparing and separating.
Please, see now if you are reading this for your own pleasure, or with the intention to understanding. Is there an actual interest in the relationship, or are you evaluating and comparing the author to another, according to how you like him, how entertained you are, or what you have read previously? 

What we like to call a ‘relationship’ is most often simply a compromise. One settles for the other to receive pleasure in comfort, safety, sex, etc. There is no love in that, despite thought wanting to call it that. To feel another is a totally different thing. Not emotionally but totally, their entire being is felt within oneself without needing to think about it. It is a rather extraordinary, beautiful thing. We share what it means to be alive.